Tea and Tears

Today was Mother's Tea at Nicholas' preschool.  I'm usually not one to publicly cry but today I could not control myself.  It was just about the cutest program I've ever seen and what made it so special is that everything was planned and created with moms in mind.  Nicky's teacher started the program by reading a touching poem.  (I have to post it below cause it really is one of the best poems I've ever heard about motherhood)  

Today was a big day for my sweet baby boy.  He had his last program ever at preschool and after that we were off to school to register him for kindergarten.  I have 115 days left with him before he's off to the big world of all day, every day school. That's

• 9,936,000 seconds
• 165,600 minutes
• 2760 hours

I've been thinking about this day a lot over the past few months - I knew it was coming and I wanted to be prepared.  As happy as I am for him to be beginning school I feel a part of my job as a mother is wrapping up.  School changes them - makes them more grown up - they learn new things - some good - some not so good - the innocence of a preschooler fades away into an elementary school aged kid.  I've decided it's the letting go that's the hardest part of being a mom for me - but I also know that I need to do this in order for them to grow. Our motherhood role changes many times throughout our lives and this is just another season of change for me. But for today I just felt so proud of him.  He kept looking at me throughout the entire performance and I knew he was proud too.  I love you sweet baby.  To me you'll always be my little one!

Before I was a Mom…

I made and ate hot meals.  I had unstained clothing.  I had quiet conversations on the phone.

 

Before I was a Mom…

I slept as late as I wanted.  And never worried about how late I got into bed.  I brushed my hair and my teeth every day.

 

Before I was a Mom…

I cleaned my house each day.  I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.

 

Before I was a Mom…

I didn’t worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.  I never thought about immunizations.

 

Before I was Mom…

I had never been puked on, Pooped on, Spat on, Chewed on, Peed on, Or pinched by tiny fingers.

 

Before I was a Mom…

I had complete control of my mind, My thoughts. My body, And my time. I slept all night.

 

Before I was a Mom…

I never held down a screaming child, So that doctors could do tests, Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried.  I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at  night watching a baby sleep.

 

Before I was a Mom…

I never held a sleeping baby just because. I didn’t want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces.  When I couldn’t stop the hurt.  I never knew that I could love someone so much.  I never knew I would love being a Mom.

 

Before I was a Mom…

I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn’t know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important.

 

Before I was a Mom…

I had never risen in the middle of the night . Every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache, The wonderment, Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn’t know I was capable of  feeling so much before I was a Mom!

 

- Author unknown